Review by Valerie C.

Resident George Lucas leading-man sensation Harrison Ford hit the big screen this week, met by box-office sales of movie tickets and reviews from critics. This film assuredly had some spectacular “rolling-on-the-ground-to-escape-certain-peril” scenes that could take one’s breath away. I found myself in a similar situation recently when at the supermarket. There I was, minding my own, when the display of half-price tomatoes was upturned by a clumsy fucking kid, and threatened to traumatize me with damage to the really killer outfit I had on that day. I rolled myself to near safety (allowing only my exposed flesh to touch the icky floor) following the standard “Indiana Jones Escape Methodology” techniques I had studied from the Jones School for Dramatic Escape from Situations of Unusual Hazard (otherwise known as what I assume this movie’s action scenes primarily consist of.) I owe my life and, more importantly, the preservation of my rad duds, to these eternally helpful stunts that are probably in this film. Verdict: a must see, preserve-your-wardrobe tutorial of a film.

*note: Valerie has yet to see the new Indiana Jones movie.