Monthly Archives: November 2008

If They Were Rappers – A&SB Compares NBA, Hip-Hop Pt.1

Happy Thanksgiving! In honor of this most holy of all holidays, we’ll resurrect a popular column written for my former newspaper – comparing basketballers to ballahs. A&SB will be sure to update our list as frequently as possible, so post your suggestions, gripes, moans, groans and concerns. Stay tuned for part 2!

Is there any sport more hip-hop than basketball? Sure, it’s a team game, but one great individual can carry you over the top. And legends aren’t just born via stats, but through style. All the while, it takes a truly great coach (producer), to take a team to the championship (BET award?). The bottom line is that, to understand hip-hop, you’ve got to know basketball.

In an effort to increase hip-hop knowledge worldwide, A&SB is proud to present the authoritative list of rap and basketball equivalency. Using a complicated formula utilizing stylistic similarities, career success and eHarmony’s personality matching robot, I can present a list that is beyond arguing with and guaranteed* to be 100 percent accurate.

J.J. Redick — Soulja Boy

Even in their respective primes, we all knew they wouldn’t last for long. Soulja Boy made a pop dance track, J.J. Redick made a ton of 3-pointers. It doesn’t mean they’re any good.

Kobe Bryant — Jay-Z

Some may complain about a lack of substance, but they’re beyond talented. When Kobe touches the ball, he’s going to score. When Jay-Z puts out an album, he’s going platinum.

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Justice – A Cross The Universe Released!

$15 Buy | Preview | Myspace

So its confessional time. At first, I was a Justice skeptic, even after Jason posted about them a few weeks back.

Now I have been converted to the awesome. The live album and tour documentary of the absolutely insane French Electronica outfit is up on Itunes as of yesterday. (real live versions of both coming Dec. 9) If you ever imagined going on tour with your guys/girls and having the most awesome sinful time imaginable, these guys are living your dream, so check it out.

p.s. super special THANKSGIVING post tomorrow. Enjoy your foods. I will enjoy my turkey sandwich.

pps. check out another clip from A Cross The Universe

Love Is All You Need

$14 Buy | Myspace

by Tim Williams – A&SB Contributor
One of my many personal embarrassments, sure to be mocked by all ‘round the Gluttony Day table this year, is my complete ignorance of lineage. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I’m half-Swedish. This I proclaim with such pride that people make the mistake of asking a follow-up, which neatly ties my dynastic ambivalence to my staggering inability to place things on a plane, let alone a elliptical sphere. I usually say, “Yeah, you know, from around Stockholm,” and then run to the nearest Wikipedia-enabled terminal to make sure Stockholm is still in Sweden.

So you’d think when the Swindie band Love is All caught my eye, I’d atone by devoting this blog post to their uniquely Scandinavian roots. I can tell you they are from Gothenburg, and I have looked at a dot with that eponymous title on an array of Google Image Search maps. Also, we have Gothenburg metal to thank for Metalocalypse, so it must be alright.

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So How Awesome Was '24' Last Night?

Alright, so your humble editor is known to be a bit of a Jack Bauer freak. In fact, I was fired from my last newspaper job for preparing a legal brief defending his frequent “re-imagining” of the Geneva Convention and waterboarding the Attorney General’s staff when he wouldn’t read it.

But if you missed it, Jack totally wore the classic Bauer longsleeve and various other coats and bags that I’ve already ordered while saving a bunch of African Kids from the angry relative of someone he killed without thinking twice about it, but he had to let his friend die after he accidentally stepped on a landmine, but his friend didn’t step off the mine until the evil African colonel was right next to him in the woods, but then Jack got screwed over by the U.S. government again as they seek to convict him for saving their asses on 6 separate occasions where he happened to have to stay awake for over 24 hours.

Anyways, 24:Redemption can now be bought. So empty out your wallets and feed papa Rupert. (Or Stream it for free)

Challenging Opponent: Are You Really Glad TRL Is Dead?

I know it’s been a little while now, but an event this monumental for our generation takes some time to sink in. After an era of corporate cronyism, inept leadership and a stunning lack of regard for the English language, MTV‘s Total Request Live has finally come to a close.

At last, the pain has dulled to a point where I can talk with myself about it. Don’t tell this guy, but it’s time for Challenging Opponent.

Yasseb: Oh, I can hear it now. You and the millions of other hipsters around 20 years old who pretend like you’ve never watched TRL or liked any Backstreet Boys songs. You’re all singing to the heavens: Thank God, its over! Music will finally be pure and free of tenniebopper influence! But I know what you’re really thinking.

Bassey: What am I really thinking?

Yasseb: How will you know what’s popular?

Bassey: Why does it matter what’s popular?  We all know that show was MTV’s used car lot.
They would do a little survey for the industry about what songs are popular in the key demographic, play said song for 30 seconds to one minute, promote their latest crappy movie about fart and anal sex jokes, use some cheap douchebag to interview more expensive douchebags and clip in a bunch of little girls screaming about seeing Carson Daly‘s ass.

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Your New Favorite Band: JOENSUU 1685

Recently an A&SB family member took a trip to Finland for a music conference and came back with a collection of some of the finest music we have never heard. The music world of Scandinavia is a grossly untapped resource of incredible art that we feel needs to brought into the U.S. mainstream. One of those artists in his mighty collection that stood out was JOENSUU 1685. Their new, self-titled album takes everything you love from My Bloody Valentine, Skywave and The Jesus & Mary Chain and blends it together beautifully – giving you the feeling of taking a warm piss on a cold Winter’s night. This album has yet to dock on the shores of U.S., but for now check out the song “You Shine Brighter Than The Light” on their MySpace or in the video below and expect to hear more about the band who John Ponemon of Subpop called “the most impressive artist” of the Lost In Music festival of Finland.
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