Favorite Super Bowl Moments
1. Bruce Springsteen
2. The E-Street Band
So many of us in pop culture lament the puritainification of the Super Bowl since millions of children were traumatized by looking upon a breast - but there is a good side.
Sex appeal is easy, and that’s why they employed it so recklessly at halftime. It’s a sure fire bet to keep your eyes on the screen, and it spans musical preferences. Now, our corporate Gods need to put actual effort into a show — or more precisely, they need to find someone who EVERYONE knows will put actual effort into a performance.
So in the years since boob/11, we’ve seen(amongst others) Prince bring down the house with a wicked performance and a subtle reminder that he has a penis — and now, The Boss killing it.
What made this more exciting than your average concert isn’t much different than what makes the Super Bowl so exciting. It’s the same great game (or show) you love, except now one-third of the nation is watching it.
Now is one of those moments that defines your career and everyone can sense your sweaty palms, everyone can see your glistening eyes as you see tens of thousands of cameras and infinitely more people focus their attention on you for the one moment, and for that one moment you are everything that is going on in one kids’ world on the outskirts of Cincinnati, and he lives this moment through you, and you remember living moments like this through his eyes.
You remember days as a kid wishing that one day, you would be there, and now you are there, and you’re doing your best to send the feeling of being there to that kid, just like the guy who was there when you were a kid gave that feeling to you.
That’s why this was a special performance. That’s why the Super Bowl is a special game. Bravo Bruce. Bravo Steelers.
The Food Network – Holy Chefs and Shticky Hacks
by Alex Truong – A&SB Contributor
Winter break boredom is a constant for me upon any return home. My Asian parents frown upon drinking and I am forced to either languish at home or venture into the cold and languish outside. Lazing about and enjoying the no study zone that is my home has become my main preoccupation here, and the flurry coming down outside as I sit down to write this column means that I’ll be continuing the sitting around and doing nothing for at least seven hours, if not all day.
It’s not so bad. My cheapness on campus expresses itself in a lack of cable television, and so I can sit back and pretend to relax as I enjoy the novelty of syndicated afternoon programming. One place my channel-changer not surprisingly always ends up is the Food Network. Though a channel that would seemingly be a foodie’s dream, I have some big problems with the culinary entertainment monolith. There’s this ugly underbelly that exploits the entertainment part of food entertainment.
So, as a courteous service to you, reader, I have compiled a list of all the props that need handing out and all the grievances that need to be aired (even though Festivus is over, we’re doing it anyways) so that everyone can avoid ever thinking that sitting through an hour of some portly man with crazy hair making chicken egg rolls is a good idea again.
Best Job Ever Available
OK, so get this job and live on a tropical island and blog about it from 150,000 grand. And you can bring people! Anyways, don’t apply, because I’m applying… oh shit. plz disregard post.
(good marketing, too.)
Custard – A History Vol. 1
by Tim Williams – A&SB Contributor
From time to time, we like to take a step back from the relentless chase of the new and pause to whip up some sweet nostalgia. Sit back and take in the rise and fall of Custard, that old standard close to our hearts and lips.
1314: Poding Withe The Yolke Ine
This debut was, at first, treated with all the fanfare an experimental food in the Dark Ages could expect.
The monks said: Is thys somme kinde of yolke? The Lord ne liken yow laffen at his yolkes.
The peasants said: We canne stille putte sausige in it, righte?
But our versatile, even gelatinous, hero proved to be more than a well-produced recipe, as happy in front of the fatted king as the tavern dweller. The jaundiced confection, in fact, never joked and could pack away even the more questionable of folk meats with ease, and by all accounts filled the halls with sighs of content. Read more ›
The Uglysuit
Quarterstick Records | $8.91 | BUY
There are 2 solid reasons as to why I wanted to post this up.
1) The Uglysuit’s self-titled debut record is incredible. Every track is lush, catchy, and perfectly executed. You need to go out and BUY
2) That website/rag ‘Pitchfork’ ripped this record apart, giving it a 4.whatever which thoroughly pissed me and the rest of our staff off.
That’s right. Part of this post was made out of pure, fiery passion for the dislike of writers who have nothing better to do that tear apart someone’s hard work. I’d spend the rest of the night ripping apart his grammar if it wasn’t for the fact that it would be a complete waste of my time to give that site any more attention it deserves. On that note…
This record spent 2 weeks on my hard drive before I even listened to it. Don’t ask me why that happened, it just did. On a day when I needed music to calm me down as I was working on a project that I wanted nothing to do with, this record gave me comfort. The knowledge that new bands like the The Uglysuit pop up unexpectedly every day keeps me from throwing my computer out of the window. Stay around for at least a few records, okay guys? Read more ›
Top 10 Reasons We Won’t Make A ‘Top 10 Albums of the Year’ List
1. Nobody cares.
2. Music is all context – social, political and artistic.
Lists are the mortal enemy of context.
3. Who wants to spend the holidays trying to justify the difference between
a 5th and 7th ranked album?
4. You’ll argue with us. How do you think an argument about what sounds slightly better than something else will end?
5. Comparing hip hop and indie rock is like weighing a poetry book versus a novel – Yeah, they’re both meant to be read, but how do you read each one? How do you listen to each one?
6. Nobody cares.
7. You’ll completely forget about it the second you close the browser.
8. You already know what you like, why can’t we just show you new stuff you might like?
9. We would likely be out-hipstered by our own readers.
10. We’re lazy damned bloggers, what do you expect?
If They Were Rappers – A&SB Compares NBA, Hip-Hop Pt.II
So it seems as if there’s some disagreement over my basketball-rap picks last week.
To all those who burned me in effigy for comparing Soulja Boy to J.J. Redick or just filled out an application to Kaplan University Online under my name and cell phone number, I get the point.
You know, the images of violence broadcast around the world over this simple piece of art really got to me. My editors didn’t want to incite another round of protests, and begged me not to run this piece today. But I must do what I know is right. I stand by my scientific, double-blind, university-tested, eHarmony personality-matching-robot-verified hip-hop and basketball equivalency equations.
If They Were Rappers – A&SB Compares NBA, Hip-Hop Pt.1
Happy Thanksgiving! In honor of this most holy of all holidays, we’ll resurrect a popular column written for my former newspaper – comparing basketballers to ballahs. A&SB will be sure to update our list as frequently as possible, so post your suggestions, gripes, moans, groans and concerns. Stay tuned for part 2!
Is there any sport more hip-hop than basketball? Sure, it’s a team game, but one great individual can carry you over the top. And legends aren’t just born via stats, but through style. All the while, it takes a truly great coach (producer), to take a team to the championship (BET award?). The bottom line is that, to understand hip-hop, you’ve got to know basketball.
In an effort to increase hip-hop knowledge worldwide, A&SB is proud to present the authoritative list of rap and basketball equivalency. Using a complicated formula utilizing stylistic similarities, career success and eHarmony’s personality matching robot, I can present a list that is beyond arguing with and guaranteed* to be 100 percent accurate.
J.J. Redick — Soulja Boy
Even in their respective primes, we all knew they wouldn’t last for long. Soulja Boy made a pop dance track, J.J. Redick made a ton of 3-pointers. It doesn’t mean they’re any good.
Kobe Bryant — Jay-Z
Some may complain about a lack of substance, but they’re beyond talented. When Kobe touches the ball, he’s going to score. When Jay-Z puts out an album, he’s going platinum.
Challenging Opponent: Are You Really Glad TRL Is Dead?
I know it’s been a little while now, but an event this monumental for our generation takes some time to sink in. After an era of corporate cronyism, inept leadership and a stunning lack of regard for the English language, MTV’s Total Request Live has finally come to a close.
At last, the pain has dulled to a point where I can talk with myself about it. Don’t tell this guy, but it’s time for Challenging Opponent.
Yasseb: Oh, I can hear it now. You and the millions of other hipsters around 20 years old who pretend like you’ve never watched TRL or liked any Backstreet Boys songs. You’re all singing to the heavens: Thank God, its over! Music will finally be pure and free of tenniebopper influence! But I know what you’re really thinking.
Bassey: What am I really thinking?
Yasseb: How will you know what’s popular?
Bassey: Why does it matter what’s popular? We all know that show was MTV’s used car lot.
They would do a little survey for the industry about what songs are popular in the key demographic, play said song for 30 seconds to one minute, promote their latest crappy movie about fart and anal sex jokes, use some cheap douchebag to interview more expensive douchebags and clip in a bunch of little girls screaming about seeing Carson Daly’s ass.
